MY BLOODY VALENTINE

My Bloody Valentine (2009)  Jensen Ackles, Jaime King and Kerr Smith

RATED R for being REALLY INCREDIBLY VIOLENT, full of MURDER AND BLOOD AND MAYHEM and having naked people.

                Okay, this was the first official gauntlet thrown, and I’m sorry it took me so long to. . . uh. . . what exactly do you do with a thrown gauntlet?  Pick it up?  Stomp on it with your foot?  Plant a little garden around it?  I don’t know.  Anyway.  I have Brandi Woods to thank for suggesting that this movie would be virtually impossible to find a spiritual message in.

                My Bloody Valentine is a slasher film of the “let’s see how utterly grotesque we can make this and still have it be 3D” variety.  The quick synopsis goes like this.  One Valentine’s Day, five miners are locked In a mine.  Only one resurfaces, having murdered the other four to preserve his air supply.  After being in a coma for a year, he wakes up and kills many of the hospital staff as well as a bunch of party-goers who are revisiting the mine for what I can only assume are masochistic reasons.    He is “shot and killed.)  Ten years later, when the mine-owner’s son (who was present at and largely responsible for the original accidental collapse) returns to town to sell the mine, the murders start again.  They are brutal, physically unlikely, and often involve either a pickaxe or a shovel and a decapitation. 

                A great deal of the cast dies and there appears to be no path of logic to their killings.  There is little to no redemption or catharsis for the ones that live.  Also, often, women are naked.

                So I understand why this seemed like a challenge to my gauntlet-thrower.  It’s a slasher movie!  What window pane cross could possibly be found in a slasher movie?    I guess I could go the Old Testament route.

                       "And he brought out the people that were in it, and cut them with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes..." (I Chronicles 20:3)

That’s a bible verse about something that David did.   Good old warmongering David. 

But I think I’m going to go for something a little bit darker and STRAIN my cerebral matter for some kind of lesson.   In order to do that, I’m going to have to spoil the big surprise ending.  But that’s okay! Because if you’re one of the people that reads this blog, there’s a good possibility this is the kind of movie you wouldn’t see if it was the last reel in the last movie theater in the post-apocalyptic world.  So I don’t mind spoiling it, really.

SPOILERS FOLLOW

The movie My Bloody Valentine is about internalized evil.    The ten-year anniversary killings are not being performed by the original killer himself, but by someone he is possessing, or haunting, or possibly just someone who is obsessed by him.  This man is so wracked with guilt for his part in the original accident that brought this killer into being that he actually finds himself a perfect vessel for the killer himself.  All of the mindless destruction that he wreaks in his unconscious split-personality state carries on the original mission of the crazy pickaxe wielding miner that he trapped in the mine with his negligence.

So what’s the message in that?   It’s about the line between guilt and repentance.  They are two radically different things.   Guilt is destructive.  It takes a mind and soul with great potential for good and swallows them up until they are useless at best and perfect weapons for evil at worst.  We tell tragic stories about the man who did something wrong in his life, and was so eaten by guilt that he could never forgive himself.  

 This Is Not A Good Thing.  

 We mistake it for a something we want.  We say things like “Good!  He screwed up!  He should suffer!”   Here’s a movie quote. . . “Just. . . feel guilty.  Swim in it till your fingers get all pruney.”  (drastically different movie, but still).  We feel like that would be justice.  But it isn't!   A vessel of guilt is useless.  A vessel of guilt is a vacuum.  It sucks the life out of everything around it and destroys it utterly.

So the main character (and antagonist, as it turned out) in this movie allowed his life to be so swallowed up by guilt that he lost his identity and gave it over to a destroyer.   And we should learn from his example and not do that.

Oh, what’s that?  You think you could never be in a situation where you wreak that kind of destruction?  Really?  I know I can.  When I am feeling most guilty about something is when I am the least capable of doing any real good.  I may not pin someone to the wall with a shovel until their head is cut in half or open someone’s chest cavity and extract their heart for re-packaging in a Valentine’s candy box (and by the way . . . bleahgufisdlbleah) but I guarantee I can be at least as destructive to someone else’s spirit.  I can cut someone down with casual disrespect and rip someone’s heart out with a bitter angry word.  And at the heart of it is just my own preoccupation with my own screw-ups.

So the message is this.   If you have done something wrong, intentionally or not, that is eating away at you, make amends.  Ask forgiveness.  And then – and here’s the tough one – ACCEPT forgiveness.  That way you can go back to being a nice penitent person who screwed up but is trying to make things right.  Letting yourself be wrapped up in layers of guilt is self-absorbed, egocentric, and eventually will empty you of anything good, making you a perfect weapon for the destruction of others.

DISCLAIMER:   I cannot think of a single person in my immediate family who would enjoy this movie for anything other than its unceasing gorey 3-D violence.  And there are some people in my immediate family who like that kind of thing.   (We're not talking Last of The Mohicans or Gettysburg violence here, either.)

Now then. . . Where is My Next Challenger!

Cloverfield

Cloverfield (2008) Mike Vogel and Jessica Lucas         Rated PG-13

    This movie was made in the theory that if you could make a killing at the box office by filming a supernatural hunt and other such horror movies through the lens of a small handheld camera, you could do it with a giant Monster Eats New York movie.   Of course, the film that started it all (The Blair Witch Project) was unscripted, and this one definitely has a script.  That’s the part that directors of the “make it look handheld” era have forgotten.  Cloverfield is a fun thrill ride of random violence with occasional comic relief.   I like to put it on as background noise occasionally, but watching it actually makes me a little carsick. 

    Very quick plot synopsis:   In the middle of a farewell party for Rob, who is heartsick due to how badly he screwed up his chances with Beth, (as documented by Hud who has been handed a camera and has no respect for personal space), a giant alien monster attacks New York.  The partygoers flee, hoping to evacuate the city, and find themselves right in the middle of the hot zone.   Rob (along with several of his friends, including Hud and his camera) decides that he has to rescue Beth from her high rise apartment, because according to a phone call that Rob receives, she is injured and she can’t move.   We follow Rob and his party of desperate rescuers through all of the worst parts of the alien attack, from fighting its spawn in the dark subway tunnels of New York to the middle of the military mobile headquarters where people are dying from the creature’s horrific bites.   Main characters die.  Plans get thwarted.  Hud talks a lot while he’s continuously filming the journey.  Great family fun.

    So where, in this “TNT Movies for Men Who Like Movies” fest is the spiritual message? 

    Here’s what I found.   Even though Rob and Beth exchanged harsh words at the party, from the moment of the alien attack, Rob can think of nothing else but Beth’s safety.  He puts himself at risk over and over (followed closely by his friends, even though he keeps encouraging them to take off and save themselves) in the hope that he can get to her and save her.  His single-mindedness drives him forward, into and then out of danger.  It even saves him from the panic or despair that so many other people in the film are falling victim to. 
   
    Now, obviously, there is very little likelihood that you or I will ever find ourselves in the midst of a giant alien monster attack.  (Let’s hope.)  But monsters come in all shapes and sizes.  There is the giant all-destroying Beast of Finances.  There is Heartbreak and Despair.  Other creatures that seem a lot smaller but that are nonetheless very destructive, like Bitterness and Resentment and Loneliness.  Then there are the scarier, more alien monsters.  Like Illness.   To some people, many many more than we like to think about, the monster destroying the city and tearing down its buildings while we lay there helpless is Cancer.  These beasts fall from the sky and begin attacking our city and we can either lay there helpless and injured, save ourselves and flee, or turn ourselves, heart and mind, to the rescue of someone else. 

    How often in the past few months, days, or even hours has someone asked you to pray for them or keep them in your thoughts?  How often have you agreed wholeheartedly to do it, and then just gave a quick nod to the universe and went on about your day?   The next time someone asks you to pray for them, or think of them, would you be willing to turn all of your energy and thought to that person, even to the point of temporarily ignoring your own battles with your own monsters in order to focus heart and soul on them? 

    Maybe we should give that kind of self-sacrifice a try.  Not only could it possibly save them, but it may be the saving of us, too.

Constantine

Constantine    (2005) Keanu Reeves and Rachel Weisz    Rated R
Contains Spoilers (It always helps if you have seen the movie)

I thought I would start with an easy one – a movie that is trying really desperately to have a message – and then discuss how close to brilliance the movie got with that message.   Constantine is an exploration of redemption and damnation, of heaven and hell, seen through the eyes of the confused and bewildered living who have not been sent to either one yet. 

“Heaven and hell are right here.  Behind every wall.  Every window. The world behind the world.”  John Constantine, Suicidal Demon Hunter

The movie goes to great lengths to subtly establish one fact, and that is that our direction is a result of our choices and our perception.  From its opening scene, a place on earth that is stripped of all beauty and life (somewhere in South America, I would assume) we are shown that heaven and hell can be right here and right now. 

The title character is a prime example of this point.  John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) is a demon hunter.  In a story where Earth is merely a battlefield between God and the Devil for the souls of humans, he takes responsibility for policing up the demons that have crossed the line and reached too far into our world.  He doesn’t have too much respect for angels that do the same thing.  He is an enforcer of “the Balance,” maintaining fairness between heaven and hell on Earth.  He takes on this task joylessly, bitterly, sometimes even angrily, racking up numbers in the hope of redeeming himself for the life he took when he was younger. . . his own.    He hopes that by fighting on the side of heaven, he will one day be allowed to enter into heaven, even though, since he committed suicide as a younger person, he is told he is damned forever.

“Constantine:  What does he want from me?”  
“Gabriel:  Only the usual.  Self-sacrifice.  Belief.’”
Constantine knows that heaven and hell, that God and the Devil, exist.  He just doesn’t have any faith in them.  Gabriel tries to explain to Constantine that he is damned, not because he committed suicide when he was younger, but because he still, to this day, has no faith in God. 

“God’s a kid with an ant farm, lady.  He’s not planning anything.”

He has also spent most of his adult life slowly trying to kill himself again, this time by smoking.  Early into the movie, we find out that John is dying of very aggressive lung cancer.  The doctor says to Constantine: “You really need to prepare” People are saying this to him all along.  He’s just not hearing it.  He spends every day of his life committing tiny sins of negligence and self-abuse.  He is rude to everyone he meets.  He lives in an uncomfortable apartment and constantly drinks and smokes himself into a bitter hole. 

On the other side of this battle is Angie (Rachel Weisz), a cop whose twin sister has inexplicably committed suicide.  Angie is a person of great personal faith.  She goes to confession for deaths that she causes every day in the line of duty.   She turns to Constantine to help her solve the mystery of her sister’s death.   Constantine shows her how to find her way temporarily into hell so that she can see for herself what it is.

So what is hell? 

According to the imagery in the film, hell is Earth, stripped of all of its stability and structure: the room you are sitting in right now, destroyed in a fiery wind.  Hell is peopled by suffering souls being torn to pieces by demons.  The demons are missing the top halves of their heads.  So they have no eyes or ears, suggesting that all of the things that define us, that make us perceptible, are meaningless in hell.  So Hell is this world, only filled with pain and suffering and minus any sign of hope or peace.

The battle of good and evil are seen in other characters as well.  Midnight (Djimon Honsou) is a man who claims to maintain perfect neutrality, serving the balance between Heaven and Hell.  But even he, at some point, joins the battle on Constantine’s side when it becomes obvious that his constancy to neutrality is aiding the cause of Hell.  Midnight prays for Constantine after Constantine walks away and cannot hear him, a demonstration that this is not simply a show. The point of Midnight’s character is to show us that perfect neutrality is not goodness.  It’s not noble.  It’s not a worthy cause in and of itself.  It’s just neutrality. 

Chas Kramer (Shia Lebouf), who assists Constantine as a kind of apprentice, is actually a great believer.  When the chips are down, he turns to prayer, lifting Constantine up and giving him the strength to continue.  He follows Constantine around and tries to learn everything from him, but his eagerness is about the fight, not about the man.  He wants to mess up Hell’s plan, for goodness’ sake.

And then there is Gabriel (Tilda Swinton).  Gabriel is one of God’s greatest fighters and believers.  But in Constantine, Gabriel has gone rogue, in God’s name, to carry out a plan unsanctioned by God.  Gabriel ends up on the losing end of a very unworthy battle as a result.

So what is the message of Constantine?  That heaven is turning yourself over to God, and hell is separating yourself from Him, however you choose to do that.


The plot of the movie is hopelessly flawed.  (The plot hangs on the “Spear of Destiny,” which the movie states is what really ended Jesus’ life.  It’s not mentioned in any of the gospels except for John, and even in John, He is most decidedly already dead by the time the Spear enters into it.)  I enjoyed the acting very much.   Keanu Reeves does try so very hard to be a good actor.

What really impresses me enough to overlook the occasional overacting and the hopeless flaws of the plot is the devotion to impressive imagery present in the movie.  Crosses are everywhere in John’s world, even worked into the pattern on his bedspread, but they never seem to really touch him.  The movie plays with the color of light, making it cold when John reaches for it and warm for Angie. 

But I think one of my favorite images happens very early in the movie.  When Angela leans over her sister Isabelle to identify the body, the perspective is changed so that it looks as though they are face to face.  But gravity is at work on Angela’s body, so the cross she wears around her neck leans toward Isabelle, creating the illusion that the cross is reaching magnetically for Isabelle.  

This movie has a lot of violence, disturbing images, and a little bit of bad language.  Nothing your average 14 year old can't handle.

Crosses in the Window Panes

There is a wonderful plot twist in one of Terry Pratchett's Discworld books where he talks about vampires.  A thoughtful vampire father attempts to inoculate his vampire children against the painful problems of things like crosses by presenting them with an alternative way of looking at them. . . crosses are simply two lines that intersect, nothing more.  For a great deal of the story, this works out very well.  The villagers try to use crosses on the vampires and they simply use their father's guidance to change them into two intersecting lines. 

But then, due to plot devices which I will not spoil for you here, a switch comes over them, and they suddenly realize that everywhere two lines intersect, a cross is formed.  The danger for them is no longer merely crucifixes and rosaries, but every crossbeam of every building, every window pane.  They are crippled by the ever-present cross. 

This is what I would like to do with my whole world.  Everywhere I look, in every piece of pop culture, no matter how vulgar and crude, comedic, horrific, it makes no difference, there is a strong spiritual message to be found.  I do not think that looking for a spiritual message in everything waters down the message.  Just because the message comes at you from the latest Seth Rogan movie does not make the message any weaker.  Rather, the increased awareness that the message could be found anywhere sends us looking for it.  Like a giant, cosmic Where's Waldo game.  Suddenly all around us are these echoing messages.  There are crosses in every window pane.

So it is my intention to begin reviewing and discussing all of my favorite movies, shows, books and anything else that happens to occur to me, not just to rate the experience, but also to unearth the spiritual message underneath.     Challenge me.  Stump me.  Set out to undo my logic.  There's a catch.  In order to figure out whether a movie or a show or book has an insignificant enough message to be difficult for me, you'll have to be looking for it, too.   Soon it will be you that is surrounded by intersected lines that have suddenly become crosses.